Simple Book Evokes the Fullness of Life’s Journey

Love of Reading vs. Intellectual Pursuits

Being an educator, I try to balance my love of reading between the intellectual pursuits of nonfiction books and the entertainment aspects of the fiction world. However, many of the top-selling books from the nonfiction bestseller list often leave me less than satisfied.

Unfortunately you need to scour the finer print to find the truly better nonfiction works. These books from smaller publishers or lesser known authors often end up reaching only a very limited audience. These results are unfortunate as many truly fine works go relatively unnoticed.

Enter Donald Murray

“My Twice Lived Life,” by Donald M. Murray, is an example of one of those books that will not gather national attention in spite of the quality of the writing and the profound insights that are revealed. Murray’s heartfelt memoir on aging is a book that would be of interest to anyone grappling with what it means to grow old. “My Twice-Lived Life” is an incredible read, a book filled with poignant remembrances and painfully honest insights.

Beginning with the first chapter when he describes his heart attack, a “good” one as he categorizes it, Murray tells his story with journalistic care. Even when he acknowledges the long-standing description of the pain as being analogous to that of an elephant stepping on his chest, he casts his voice to one of his many simple insights. It isn’t that the elderly feel less pain, it is that they are more experienced with it. They have “confronted the worst waves of pain” and learned that life still goes on.

In describing his experience as a paratrooper in WW II, he starkly contrasts the image of a returning war hero with what it truly means to be a veteran of war. He devotes three chapters to this part of his life, beginning with his candid description of the sheer ugliness of combat. He relates some of the stories he shares with others, the organized versions that happened in a chaotic fashion, and then the untold stories, the ones he holds within. It is these that speak so boldly to a non-veteran. I found myself shivering as he describes sitting on the porch of his friend, scanning the lawn before him, determining what would be the best place to set up a machine gun to repel an enemy attack.

Of Fatherhood and Becoming a Teacher

The sheer appeal of Murray’s writing is never more evident than in his chapter entitled “Fatherhood.” He frankly writes of the difficult decision of withdrawing extraordinary life-support for his twenty year old daughter, a decision that effectively ended her life. The chapter begins with the simple statement: “I never wanted to have children.” It ends with “I cannot imagine my life if I had not become a father.” In between he yells at a social worker attempting to offer help in his time of need, telling her to “get the hell out.” He also hears from a neighbor who has lost a son state: “it will never get any better.” The chapter is so touching because it is never manipulative or embellished. Murray tells his story clearly, sharing his pain, the pain he still feels and always will, while stressing how his past experiences and surrounding family help him deal with the grieving process.

Murray also acknowledges the challenges he faced in becoming a teacher, calling the job of teaching the most demanding work he ever had. Again, with delicate candor he questions the “not-so-good old school days” of yesterday and confesses to thinking that teaching would be good part-time work while he wrote. He honestly admits to such flaws, quickly learning that being a writer is not the same as teaching others how to write.

Get a Copy

The book has many other excellent chapters: “Unmasking,” “Aloneness,” “Shame” and the final that deals with depression and “Letting Go.” Writing with a tenderness and a perspective that is truly uncommon, Murray skillfully shares his insights on what it means to live and to grow old.

This outstanding book is an example of why reading can bring pleasure as well as insight. It will not appear on any bestseller lists but if you enjoy reading, you must pick up a copy. You will be glad you did.

For more sentiments on Murray, see legacy.