Sell the Shadow for the Substance

As an educator and parent, there are certain books that I return to time and time again, texts with an endless ability to inspire. These special books are filled with wisdom and hope and transcend age, gender, or race.

“The Measure of Our Success”

Such is the case with Marian Wright Edelman’s exemplary work, “The Measure of Our Success – A Letter to My Children and Yours.” Published in 1992, Edelman’s book emphasizes the essence of life and more importantly the essential lessons that our children must learn. The text, a mere five chapters and less than 100 pages in length, is packed with insights and teachings that are too often missed in the hustle of today’s world.

Edelman, the aunt, granddaughter, daughter, and sister of Baptist ministers, notes in the early chapters of the book the non-material legacies left to her by her parents, her teachers and other adults in her church. She speaks reverently of her father and his impact on her life. Fourteen at the time of his death, she recalls his dying message to her, that she, a young black girl, “could be and do anything” and “that race and gender are shadows.”

Hard Work and Discipline

She stresses the notion of hard work and discipline, of picking yourself up when you fall. Edelman points out that her father died with holes in his shoes, but that at the time of his death he had already put two children through college, was supporting another in college and had a fourth in Divinity School. The legacies she addresses in the early chapters are those that can only be provided by family life and by elders who had a commitment to raising children as they ought to be.

Chapter Four forms the major part of her book. Entitled “Twenty-Five Lessons for Life,” Edelman writes forcefully about the key elements for leading a successful life. They are lessons she insists we knew and practiced in a former time but now seem to have forgotten.

The opening lesson begins with the famous phrase, “There is no free lunch.” In this section, the well-known children’s advocate addresses one of the major issues facing many Americans today, the sense of entitlement. Edelman speaks directly as to why everyone should work their way up the career ladder, why we need to take great care and pride in doing quality work as we climb. She emphatically insists that none of us, especially our children, should feel entitled to anything that we have not sweat or struggled for.

Other lessons of note include, “Assign yourself” and the simple, “Be a can do, will try person.” She remembers her father’s consistent response whenever she informed him that her teacher had not assigned her any homework. That response was, “Well, assign yourself.” Edelman takes that simple insight and rightfully notes that a valued company employee sees what needs to be accomplished and then, without waiting for a directive from the boss, does what needs to be done. She further speaks of the paralyzing behaviors of those who espouse a can’t-do philosophy. Instead, she insists that we focus on what we have and what we can do and cast aside the longing for what we don’t have or cannot do.

Our Consumer Driven Lifestyle

There are some really classic lines in her book, phrases that summarize her notion of service to others and seek to dismiss our current consumption-laden society. In the lesson titled, “Sell the shadow for the substance,” she states sarcastically that “a BMW is not an advanced degree.” In focusing on making a difference, she states that “a lot of people think they have to be big dogs to make a difference.” Instead, Edelman insists one “just needs to be a flea for justice.” The title of one lesson, “Remember your wife is not your mother or your maid, but your partner and your friend,” is a classic in and of itself.

The book concludes with an extremely moving two page prayer that addresses the issues facing many of our children today. In her prayer, Edelman speaks to what it will really take to be able to leave no child behind.

“An Essential Book”

“The Measure of Our Success” is an essential book for anyone who works with children, be they a teacher, social worker, counselor or parent. The book is also essential reading for every high school and college student seeking their way in the world today, especially those who are on the verge of or who are considering starting a family.

Edelman’s book serves to remind us all that the greatest lessons in life are taught at home by the family. She insists, “Nothing must separate parents from their duty to their children,” and that our children are “God’s presence, promise, and hope for mankind”.

If you have children or work with them, it is a book that you will turn to time and time again.